Teachers Have Lives?!


Sophie spots a teacher in the wild.

By Sophie Mbela, Staff Writer

Disclaimer: There is traumatizing information below. If you don’t want your image of teachers to be ruined, then DO NOT READ FURTHER!

So, recently, I was shopping in Walmart… again. The main purpose of this journey was to stock up on snacks, mangoes, and Febreze so my car would stink less. And, yes, all three of these products will make the interior of my car smell like a new HGTV home.

Anyways, I was about to enter the chips/popcorn aisle when I saw a man. At first, I thought the universe was playing a joke on me, but when I looked closer, I realized that it was indeed my TEACHER! I ducked out of that aisle so fast that I almost backpedaled into a four-year-old. As I stayed squatting behind my cart, I watched my teacher. He was doing the most unbelievable thing… buying tortilla chips. A closer investigation of his cart revealed that he was planning some type of nachos dish.

At that moment I felt three things: betrayed, surprised, and confused. First, my teacher was a huge hypocrite. How dare you have the audacity to make nachos when you drone on and on about the negative effects of junk food on our bodies?! Second, why are you even at Walmart? Shouldn’t you be shopping at a teachers’ supply store? Third, why are you buying this food like you’re actually going to eat it? We all know that teachers don’t eat, sleep, or use the restroom like normal human beings!

All my life I thought teachers were some type of evolutionary human that spent every waking moment inside of a school or at multiple school functions. During the day, they would teach their wonderful classes about many interesting topics, and then, they would stay after school and grade all the classwork. Once done with that, it was time to get wild by pulling out that inflatable mattress and their favorite English classic until they fell asleep. There were suppose to be hidden communal showers and little stores that only teachers could access through their teacher witchcraft. Pretty much, school was supposed to be a Hogwarts, but for teachers!

Now, I am traumatized. I’ve finally realized that teachers are just like you and me. They watch the Super Bowl and eat nachos just like everyone else. They avoid students in public places just like we avoid them. And, they all have a favorite TV show/song just like everyone else.

Unfortunately, now I realize that teachers aren’t some kind of alien. They’re just some really amazing people that have the patience to put up with us.