A Completely Serious, Unironic Review of Venom (2018)

By Alex Kim, Humor editor

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Venom is a 2018 film released by Sony Pictures, starring acclaimed actor Tom Hardy. When this film was initially released, it was met with extremely poor critical reception and was rated as only 29% on Rotten Tomatoes. But, I believe that the sheer brilliance of this movie deserves the impossible 100% critic score. It is truly the best movie ever made. 

This movie succeeds in every aspect. The characters are wonderfully written. The top-notch writing is exemplified in the iconic, thought provoking movie quote, “The guy you work for is an evil person.” This truly displays the peak of cinematic mastery. The line leaves so much up to interpretation for the audience to understand. What could the quote really mean? What is the symbolism behind it? It lets the audience contemplate about what themes are being conveyed. There’s not a single bad line of dialogue through the entire film. To provide another example, at the end of the final action sequence, the titular character Venom tells Evil Venom to “Have a nice life” right before blowing him up 

Now, to discuss the acting. Tom Hardy is, and I mean this in a completely serious way, very good. He is giving his all and he’s just having a great time playing two different characters: Eddie Brock and Venom. And if you thought Hardy was doing a good job in his role, you must not have been paying too much attention to Michelle Willaims. The way she delivers lines is so unique. Her monotone voice, which makes it seem as if she’s just reading off the script, makes for an immersive viewing experience. It’s one of Williams’ best performances; truly rivaling her performance in Blue Valentine. 

There are a plethora of simply legendary scenes in the film and it would be a crime for me not to mention them in this review. However, I will not provide any context to these scenes in an attempt to not spoil the movie. 

I loved the scene where Tom Hardy kisses Venom. I very much enjoyed the big CGI battle at the end of the movie with two venoms that look exactly the same, which made it incredibly difficult to identify who was winning the battle. I like how Tom Hardy was impaled through the chest by a massive blade during the final action sequence but ends up completely fine. I was incredibly satisfied when Venom says goodbye to Tom Hardy’s character when he sacrifices himself but is unexplainably alive in the next scene. My favorite scene is most likely when Tom Hardy climbs into a lobster tank and eats one of the lobsters alive. Although, my top spot for “best scene” can easily change as there are just so many perfect moments. Venom is probably the best movie ever made.

Seriously though, only watch this movie if you’re with your friends. If you watch this movie alone, you’ll just notice how awful the objective quality is, but if you’re viewing it with the boys, you can all marvel at how terrible it is. It’s still the best film ever made.

 

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