A Student Guide to Teacher Lies
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We all know teaching massive amounts of sweaty, disrespectful students who really, really do not want to be in school is difficult. Sometimes, educators take advantage of the fact that they are always right and tell little white lies to help make their jobs a bit easier. Here is a list of lies that our teachers tell us all the time, and what those lies truly mean.
- “I don’t pick favorites.”
They do. They definitely do. No one can act like teachers are not biased towards some students. The only time this is okay is if you are the most liked student.
- “You’ll use this in the real world.”
No, you will most likely never use calculus in the real world. I do not recall a time where I was heating up water for my tea and thought to myself, “I should use a right Riemann sum to approximate what the temperature of the tea will be at nine minutes.” In modern times, no one really has to know higher mathematics because we can just use computers. One of the only times you would really need to memorize the unit circle out of school is if you were a teacher. Other than that, it is useless knowledge. (Sorry, Newton.)
- “There’s no such thing as busy work.”
I am pretty sure my whole freshman year of high school was solely comprised of busy work. You cannot tell me that teachers do not get tired and just give out random assignments to keep students occupied. But, honestly, would we not do the same?
- “Everything I say will be on the exam.”
What this really means is the test will have absolutely nothing discussed in class, and you will have three breakdowns during the test. Everything on the test is a surprise.
- “This may or may not be on the exam.”
Alternatively, this means that it will definitely be on the test.
- “I look forward to reading your essays.”
Surprisingly, your teacher actually does not want to read the essay you wrote last night at 11:23 after remembering it was due right before sinking comfortably into bed. They would rather grade one thousand multiple choice exams than read your essay that has a misspelled word in the title due to your grogginess.
- “The test will be easy.”
It is going to be hard, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. This is going to be the worst exam you have ever taken in your life. When the test is passed out, the room will explode into utter chaos. Some students will start crying, and others will start actually pulling out their eyebrows. Be mentally and emotionally prepared when you hear these five words.
This is Sydney Smith. She joined journalism her junior year after being forced into it by the one and only Cody Wilson. Sydney is a struggling musician...
