The Perfect Senior Prank

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What is the best senior prank? This infallible question has stood the test of time, finding no adequate solution until this date. A senior prank should be done in good humor, and must be manageable and easy to clean up. For instance, it should be something like super-gluing the doors shut or cutting down a tree. For extra effect, cause a water bottle riot or wipe a teacher’s data from their computer. Actually, I think that was a junior prank.

The perfect senior prank must satisfy the formula x = 2.5c + sin(y2) where x is the effectiveness of the prank, c is the cost, and sin(y2) is there to add legitimacy to the equation. It does not mean anything. Therefore, the larger the value for x, the more effective the prank. This means that, ideally, a perfect prank would have an x value of infinity, which is, of course, very possible.

One example of a perfect senior prank that satisfies this complex yet irrelevant equation is aptly placing a chalk-sullied chalkboard eraser so it can humiliate any who enter the class. This is done in a few easy steps: (1) Calculate the specific viscosity of the chalk, as it is imbibed by the fabric of the chalk eraser (2) Calculate the trajectory of the eraser using a related rate, as well as differential calculus (3) Let it fall. Simple.

Another good prank would be getting a large quantity of marbles and spilling them on the floor. Not only will this decorate the floors of the school, but it will also make for a fun spectacle as all the people fall like Greece’s GDP. The clean up is easy in the sense that if every senior in the school participates in picking up each marble one at a time, it will only take forever to pick them all up. Simple.

Arguably, the best prank and the easiest to perform would be taking a permanent marker and drawing suggestive images and hiding them with dry erase marker. Imagine the shock and surprise of a teacher when they erase a student-drawn picture of a cat on the board, only to find a vulgar depiction of the Mona Lisa underneath. The possibilities of drawing are endless, and thus x = infinity, satisfying the idea of a perfect senior prank. Truly, we have solved the age-old question that has spanned across eons and arrived at the ultimate prank.