A Loner’s Perspective of Valentine’s Day
Picture by Cole Walls
I wake up with a start from my eternal nightmare. The nightmare that haunts me every year on the 14th of February. I won’t describe the dream, partially because I am apathetic and partially because the horrid dream chills me to the bone. As I sit up with my heart racing, I feel the dread for this “holiday” coursing through my veins. However, this dread is not unfamiliar to me – it is an eighteen-year-old curse. Once the feeling settles firmly in my gut, I decide that going to school and attempting to receive a proper education on such a simple-minded holiday is worth an attempt.
After I get ready for the day, I head to school. I am aware of the sappiness I will have to endure, but I have learned to tolerate this. I walk towards my first class while bobbing and weaving between people carrying cheap bouquets and chocolates from the 99 Cents store. I do not carry such trivial items for somebody, nor does somebody carry such trivial items for me. I may be alone, but at least I am not contributing to the immiseration of the proletariat by buying such bourgeois items. I believe that Karl Marx would be proud of my silent protest.
I walk into my first period class and encounter a high amount of the “Valentine spirit.” I do not allow myself to feel this spirit, which I so despise. I do not conform to the convictions instilled into the weak-minded by the teachers of the youth, and I will not conform to these “feelings” imposed on the young mind. The authority must think that we are all brainwashed into submission, destined to buy pseudo-lavish items on the 14th of every February.
Nay, not I. I am one of the few who stand strong against this holiday in protest. This thought races through my mind during my second period of the day, as I am forced to sit through yet another singing gram sent by some lost soul. I am bound to my chair, with my eyelids barely held open as I watch somebody sing a profession of love as an indirect message from another high school student. Oh, the “love” that high schoolers are so accustomed to experiencing at a juvenile age.
Throughout most of the day, I am subjected to this pure torture. Others give each other candy, balloons, and even public displays of affection. Yet, it is all superficial. Such a holiday is designed to create class division. If one buys their “significant other” a smaller teddy bear than their friend, they are automatically designated peasant status. Those who do not buy the most expensive gifts such as Ferrero Rocher chocolates or five-foot tall stuffed animals are subjected to a metaphorical gulag by their romantic partner.
For this reason, I object to this status-determinant holiday. As my day winds down to a close, I drive home defeated. I feel my anxiety leaving me, and so I accept the absurdity to which everybody in the universe is subjected. Perhaps it is my existentialist complex, but I not draw meaning from a holiday designed by corporate shills. I stand alone, but I still have a firm grasp of my own social status. I “voluntarily” remain forever alone.

Cole Walls is the humor editor for the QHHS Ubiquity. However, he is actually from Central City and is known as the ‘Fastest Man Alive’ by many. While...