We all know Tiktok, with its recent ban (for 14 hours), has been the app to go for short-form media, easily digestible little bites of content. Everyone knows the app and loves it. However, Tiktok has become a scourge upon this earth. An evil that is far greater than anything known to man. We have to eradicate this, and my solution is simple. BRING BACK VINE. Everyone loved Vine. It was the greatest place on Earth. No other app could match its cucumber-themed User Interface, and there was simply not a better place to go to get your hit of dopamine off of a 7-second video other than Vine. There have been contenders for the Greatest Short Form Video app of all time, but no other app did it as well as Vine. 

Vine as an app had a great influence on the modern markets, from helping to recover the U.S economy after the stock market crash of 2008, to helping to facilitating the spread of Mercantilist schools of thought back in 1539. Vine has been the greatest and fastest way to spread ideas throughout the world. with it being so successful that the printing press was modeled after it, and that only did a fraction of what Vine did.  

Vine was also one of the biggest driving forces of the Industrial Revolution, showing quick videos to children in an easily digestible format so as to help them work at a faster pace, thereby increasing profits for the company. Vine has been an integral part of human society since the dawn of time, and it has only been a positive force for humanity. In fact, if you were to look at cave paintings from prehistoric times, you would see a little V engraved off to the side of the painting.

Vine has also been a muse for many of the world’s greatest artists. The Renaissance period came to be due to Vine helping to spread the perfect 7-second drawing, painting, and carving tutorials to people like Leonardo Da Vinci.

Vine has also worked wonders for my personal life at home. From saving my marriage (with its seldom-known marriage counseling section of videos) to the abundance of life lessons it helped to teach my kids when I was away at the mines. In summary, Vine was THE definitive social media application, and no other could compare to it.