Everyone knows and loves Saturn’s rings. If I were to interview a random person anywhere in the world, they would say, “Oh yeah Saturn’s rings those guys.” However though, the rings have started to wane as of late. Researchers think that Saturn’s rings may be gone before the year 2022. That was 3 years ago! I have an idea to fix this issue. I will journey far into the depths of space and accomplish 2 things. I will first interview Saturn’s rings to see what the problem really is. Then I will decidedly fix the issue once and for all by blowing up Saturn’s rings. Wait, I just got a call from my lawyer telling me that I am legally not allowed to blow up Saturn’s rings. Uhh, I guess I’ll try to fix the issue maybe? Idk (Idk stands for I don’t know btw [btw stands for by the way btw]). I thought blowing them up would be pretty cool but I guess not.

So I set out for Saturn, with the hopes of being magically given the opportunity to blow them up. As I arrived, 1 thing was on my mind. How do I get to speak to the rings? The answer came to me in a small instance of truly genius-level IQ. I would get them to speak to me by hooking them up to an ECG machine and then reading the brainwaves of the rocks. This stunning plan fell through as soon as I realized that A, rocks don’t have brainwaves, and B, an ECG machine doesn’t read heartwaves. However, though, I hooked it up to the rocks despite what the haters were saying.
The ECG machine idea worked spectacularly and I was able to communicate with Saturn’s rings flawlessly. One major issue arises though. These rings were kinda lame man. All they wanted was “a stable orbit”, or an “Annual Bingo night”. As I was packing up my bags to leave, something truly miraculous happened. The rings telepathically communicated with me, and they said that the only thing they craved was to play Fortnite. I was truly ecstatic at this realization, and it led me to realize one thing. These rings are freaking goated man. I did have to come up with a solution fast though, as we only had 5 minutes before the bomb I planted in my sleep would explode. As I pulled out my Samsung Smart Fridge I keep handy, and started to hand the controllers off, one of the rings said, “I think I feel a song coming on!” The bombs suddenly deactivated, and then I had the sudden and hard-hitting realization that “Fortnite can really fix every wound.”