With all of the recent political turmoil in the United States, it has become clear to me that we must change the entire system, and what better form of government is there than communism? Well, possibly fascism. Anyhow, based on the holy book, The Communist Manifesto, by the great Karl Marx, I have mapped out instructions to create the New America.

   Here is the plan:

• First, to transition to communism, we must overthrow our existing government. Only from the efforts of our youth (ages 3 to 12 ideally) can we accomplish this because they are a terrifying force to be reckoned with.
• To make the transition from democracy to communism easier, there will be a “poll” regarding the new ruler. Of course, it will be rigged in favor of the ruler, but the false sense of choice in the matter will comfort the masses.
• As for who will be the ruler of communist America, well, Miley Cyrus is the only person I see fit to dictate this great country. Who else is more patriotic than she? “Party in the USA” is the most influential song of our time, and once Miley is running, it can become the new national anthem, as it should be.

   Now that the new government is in place, we can start with the reforms.

• All private property will be given over to the state. Meaning … that car you just payed off? SIKE, you just payed off the government’s car.
• Along with your rights to property, any inheritance from family is a big no-no, so you can stop waiting for your grandpa to die, you were ‘never’ in his will in the first place.
• Everyone will be the owners of the means of production as well as their own employee. That means you can tell that boss you hate sayonara because you are your own boss now. Hopefully, you do not hate yourself as much as you did your former employer.
• Of course, with communism there must not be any religion, so say goodbye to holiday breaks and hello to atheism.
• A heavy progressive tax increase is in order, but without Christmas to worry about, you have enough money to give away.
• There will be no discrimination of any kind between each other, which means your racist, homophobic uncle who thinks all of those liberal hippies are beneath him is going to have to suck it up.
• No communist state is complete without censorship. But, with all of the political nonsense and “alternative facts” we have seen lately, it will be better this way.

   We are finally set to join some of the greatest nations of our time including China, North Korea, and our new “communist buddies.” Our next aspiration is to be as great as the fallen Soviet Union. Only then can we be a perfect nation.