Surprise! School Is Not What You Think It Is *Not Clickbait*


Picture by Cody Wilson

By Casey Swafford, Staff Writer

Here you are, currently at high school, sitting at your desk while thinking about the bright future you have in front of you. Maybe you will get married one day, or you will start up your own company, or you might explore the world. The possibilities are endless! Well, guess what? Such thoughts are merely the naive dreams of a nitwit. From the beginning, you have actually been programmed to have no future.

Do you remember every night when your mom would tuck you in? She would give you a kiss on the cheek and tell you that you can do anything. Oh, you pathetic, gullible fool. You have been played, played indeed. You see, these teachers that we have trusted, these role models and bastions of knowledge that we have held with the highest regard, have lied to us. They never intended on educating us, nor have they ever planned on arming us with the knowledge needed to confront the world. They were merely preparing us for the grim, inevitable future that they have predestined for us. They have been unknowingly training us for the cold, brutal pain of the gladiator arena. We will all be shipped off to new American colosseums where we will fight our friends to the death for the entertainment of the aging elite community.

If you think about it, the truth will be revealed to you. Just what exactly have we been learning the past decade? Why are we being forced to learn subjects that we will never use? Ha, if only we had asked these questions sooner, then we might have been more than just pigs destined for slaughter. Think back to kindergarten: what happened? You may think that you were taught nothing harmful. You were taught shapes, colors, and how to count. WRONG! They taught you colors to teach you what the color of blood is. What about shapes? You fool, those were not shapes: those were targets. Counting? That was so you could put a number on the mass of victims you have compiled.

Elementary school was nothing but health training. Remember all of those anti-smoking posters and healthy eating messages? That was all propaganda so that the future gladiators would be in peak physical condition. Middle school was there to hone your physical abilities with rigorous P.E. courses. Such events included the Long-jump (so you can close the distance between you and your enemies), the Mile Run (which trains your endurance, so you can fight and kill for a longer period of time), and the infamous Push-Up Test (which builds muscles so you can grow in strength and kill with ease).

Then, we have the high school, where we are today. At this point, it is too late. We have already unknowingly become trained killing machines. This stage of “education” is where they teach us tactics and strategies so we can apply them in the arena to defeat our foes. Algebra and geometry teach us the logic needed to concoct plans of murder. Statistics and physics allow us to properly calculate our odds of survival and know how to estimate what damage could be done to our gladiatorial enemies. Just look at yourself. You are a weapon, and you will now be used as such.

Ever since our youth, we thought we had a future. We believed that we were given a choice to define our own path. We could not be further from the sad reality that is the truth. We are not going to college, no jobs will be waiting for us, and our families are not an option anymore. America has decided our fate, and that fate is to fight and die for the entertainment of the United States elite.

With this assertion, I bid my goodbye to everyone, for I am a senior. Once I “graduate,” I will be shipped off to the arena of fate. I might die, but then again I might not. However, do not let my message fall on deaf ears. Use what I have told you to change the system that we have fallen into. Make a future that we all can live in: one without bloodshed. Also, make sure to buy my gladiator merchandise and support me on Patreon so I can afford some sick armor. I really do not want to be impaled in a dirt arena surrounded by guys in togas.