Water: How It Be?

Picture by Ashhab Ibrahim

By Ashhab Ibrahim, Assitant Editor

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Water – a life essence, the nectar of the gods, the power source of our local Drytown, and some other things that aren’t even remotely important compared to the previously stated reasons. You already know many facts about water. However, there are a lot of things people don’t know. Like, did you know that on Venus the rain is composed of water, unlike Earth’s deadly acid rain? Truly unlivable conditions. Water is one of the most unexplored elements, but holds much promise. Scientists even proposed that it may be drinkable and extend our 27 year old lifespan if we use it as a daily drinking source as opposed to liquid mercury. However, this technology won’t be even close to prototyping until at least 2050. Revolutionaries such as Elon Musk and Adam Sandler are exploring strategies in hopes of bringing water to you sooner than corporate capitalist companies with ties to the capitalist scum that is our government. Elon, Adam, and Ainsley Harriott are doing their part in the revolution for water, so, i suppose i’ll do my job of informing the ignorant society that refuses to accept the near perfect communist system as a form of government and sticks to the life of being a capitalist swine. Today, Buzzfeed and I are presenting you with the top five facts you didn’t know about water.

1. The States of Water

Did you know that water has five states of matter instead of the three your teachers taught you? These states include the following: solid, liquid, Louisiana, The Pacific Ocean, and gas! Is your brain starting to moisten up?

2.  Water Humans

Water shares 99.9% DNA with humans, meaning that even though humans are 60% human, water is 100% human. Ain’t that H2awesome!

3. Family Business

H20 actually has a family! He prefers not to talk about them, as he has severed connections with them due to his bipolar disorder. His family consists of H202, H203, and H204. What is H204, you ask? Drinking, bathing, and swimming, of course!

4. Pray for Your Life

Send this to 25 of your most watery friends for 30 years of luck. If you don’t, you will be deprived of filtered water and have bad McDonalds ice cream machine luck for the rest of your life.

5. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

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