How I Fell In Love With My FBI Agent (Recounted by Chrystien Ontiveros)

By Emma Montesdeoca, staff writer

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It’s no secret anymore that there are FBI agents hiding in our phones, monitoring us, helping us get those free skips on Spotify and even changing the form of ads on Instagram. Over the course of the last few years, the FBI agents in our phones have become our friends, allies, and even our lifesavers. But for Chrystein Ontiveros, his FBI agent became something more.

“It started with a virus on my beautiful Mac computer. I didn’t even know I had one. I thought everything was alright until I got a phone call from “Your FBI Agent.” I answered the call and she tells me that there’s a dangerous virus that was stealing my identity. I answer, ‘Hello nice lady that sounds like the goddess Jennifer Lawrence?’ She responds, ‘I’m just going to get rid of that virus for you. Call me back if there are any more identity theft issues. Have a nice day Chrys.’– and she ends the call. 

“A couple of days later she calls me again, and I think, “Oh, great. Another virus here to steal all the pictures of my dog(s)…” But it turns out that she just wanted to talk. So we start talking, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere– we start dating! It turns out she was a Jennifer Lawrence look-alike, and I was like, ‘Dude, that’s awesome!’ She also said that she too enjoyed looking up scary babies, huge Shrek wall decals, existential questions, and ‘names bullies call you.’ It was like… we were meant to be, you know? 

“We met up and binge-watched ASMR, Good Luck Charlie, and that one guy on Youtube that plays the Wii. We fell in love with each other: head over heels. There was something about being stalked unknowingly through the one form of technology that I never leave the house without that made me happy.”

It was completely evident after our interview that Chrys was truly in love with his FBI agent. His story, among 7,564 others who have all fallen in love with their agents, have helped to inspire a new generation of romance and cooperation between civilians and the government. Best of luck to Chrys and his look-alike Lawrence FBI agent!

 

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