Decolonizing Our Minds and Relationships

The podcast All My Relations is hosted by indigenous women Matika Wilbur and Desi Small-Rodriguez, who speak with one another and guests regarding indigenous issues and themes through a variety of different lenses. It has an intended audience of indigenous peoples, as that is their community and target area. Though, we as non-natives can still learn from their teachings, provide validation to their struggles, and become aware of issues they discuss.

Many of their episodes analyze how we view nature as a separate domain when we should instead be connected to it. Wilbur and Small-Rodriguez place a heavy emphasis on relationships with nature and on being more fluid with our connections in general. Rather than isolating our culture, responsibilities, and connection with land from one another, there should instead be an all-encompassing acceptance of the different aspects of our lives. 

In the realm of relationships, they also discuss the depth behind compulsive monogamy. The hosts spoke with Dr. Kim Tallbear in one particular episode about how labeling relationships in western society tends to devalue other connections. The emphasis of hierarchical relationships and of “singleness” being dependent on one singular type of relationship with one person only is limiting and restrictive. It is essentially a colony-enforced concept, as indigenous tribes have historically been community-based. With colonialism comes the inherent ties of capitalism as well, with the nuclear family and consequential minuscule support system being normalized.

Instead, these women insist that we are never single. We always have relationships – whether that be with nature, friends, family, food, the land, ourselves, and others. Moreover, there are infinite types of love; when viewing relationships through a western lens, there is no “The One.” When thought about realistically, it doesn’t make sense anyways. Different people in our lives will fulfill different needs or wants of ours, and that’s completely okay; one person can’t satisfy every one of our needs. Wilbur, Small-Rodriguez, and Tallbear emphasize that people should instead be happy that we have the ability to love so deeply in so many ways and should thus embrace the freeing liberation that comes with loving fluidly.

All My Relations is a truly fascinating podcast and is perfectly titled, as it centers healing and growth around the antithesis of loneliness and relational disconnection. We should not be isolated nor limit ourselves in how we live as parts of this Earth. The critique of “compulsory monogamy” and how we view relationships is just one aspect of this, though. It is important to break down the restrictions that colonization has left on our minds and how we interact with the world, nature, others, and ourselves.