A question older than time itself (not lions, though): who would win in a fight between exactly 1 billion lions and the sun? I, Vihaan Mukherjee, will sit down for a pre-fight and post-fight interview with both sides of the fight. Let’s wish these fighters good luck in their battle!
PRE-FIGHT INTERVIEWS
Hi, I’m Vihaan, and I’m here with 1 Billion lions!
So, what is your biggest issue with the sun?
“We personally agree that the sun is taking up the biggest portion of the representation of the color orange. We feel that 2024 is the year of the Lion, and we need to have more representation for lions within the color orange,” the lions stated in unison.
One lion, though, stood out from all the other lions. He had a large, sun-shaped scar on his arm and spoke in a deep, gravelly voice.
“The sun killed my father in the last fight between 1 billion lions. We’ve been repopulating since last month.” The lion named Scar Car said in an interview.
How many lions did you end up with after the last fight?
“0.3325”, totally not scar from the lion king stated.
Do you think you’d lose against the sun?
“Nah, I’d win,” the lion that is 100% not named Scar said.
Good luck, Mr. Scar Car.
Anyways, onto our next interviewee, the sun!
The sun could not comment for the pre-fight interview, as they stated something about “watching Bleach Thousand Year Blood War Cour 3.”
POST-FIGHT INTERVIEWS
The fight between the sun and 1 billion lions went swimmingly for all parties! (It did not go very well for the Lions). I think that all fighters gave it their all, though! (There was absolutely 0 contest). Let’s start with the sun first, then!
So, how do you think the fight between you and the lions went?
“Huh?” the sun responded.
How was the massive fight between you and 1 billion lions!??!?!
‘Well, I mean… I can’t fight against much; I’m just stuck here doing my thing,” the sun replied.
You did not notice the giant lion-shaped spaceship!? Neither that nor the giant lion staircase they built from the Earth to the Sun?
“Nope, I didn’t realize till I felt something tickle a little in my side while watching TV.”
Thanks for the interview then, Mr. Sun.
Let’s move on to the Lions next!
“I am so wholly ashamed of my performance. I felt that we were making good progress into the sun till we realized just how powerful the sun was. I am the only one remaining. I feel that I have shamed my father,” the lion conveniently named Car (without most of his body now) stated.
Do you think there was anything different you could’ve done to make your attack successful?
“I think we could’ve attacked at night,” the lion stated.
