What’s up, betas? It’s your number 1 sigma male; back at it again with another EPIC article. I know you’re all here to listen to the GREATEST sigma ever. Please note that this is a humorous and satirical article and that you must follow all school guidelines.
Number 10: Axe Body Spray instead of showering.
Waking up in the morning is a tedious task, and showering only makes it more challenging. However, an opportunity arises when we add AXE body spray to the equation. With its beautiful scent, especially when used in excessive amounts, everyone at school will think that you’re the most sigma ever.
Number 9: An actual sigma howls at school
Real sigmas always howl at the moon because there’s nothing more sigma than being a wolf; howling during class, especially when the teacher’s talking, is the easiest way to gain the admiration of all your classmates.
Number 8: Patrick Bateman (without the misogyny)
To be an actual sigma, you should be cool and nonchalant like Patrick Bateman, but remember that a true sigma is a friend to all and should treat everyone with respect. Another cool and epic character is the driver from the movie Drive or Officer K from Blade Runner 2049.
Number 7: Sigma Wolves must read Sigma books
A real sigma must only read books written by true sigmas like Tyler Blevin’s book “Ninja: Get Good: My Ultimate Guide to Gaming.” I think it’s a must-read for any aspiring Sigma males.
Number 6: The Lone Wolf
True sigmas walk alone, like a lone wolf separated from its pack. If you want to be a TRUE sigma, walk alone like the lone wolf. They also don’t have girlfriends.
Number 5: Listen to sigma music
Real sigma’s listen to the most sigma music that alpha normies don’t. Some songs like “Can You Feel My Heart” by Bring Me the Horizon or specific genres that an actual sigma would listen to, such as “aggressive phonk.”
Number 4: Epic sigma games
Real sigmas only play the most epic games like Fortnite Battle Royale or other games like Dress to Impress Mario Kart, and Double Dash.
Number 3: Sigma slang terms
Real sigmas only use epic slang terms like “calc” for calculator or “Skibidi Toilet.” Screaming these terms out during class will ensure you gain your peers’ admiration!
Number 2: Real sigmas eat their vegetables
A true sigma will ALWAYS eat their vegetables without complaining. This is because sigmas will always face challenges, and they won’t ever complain about it.
Number 1:True sigmas never give up.
Finally, a true sigma would NEVER give up on the current task, always going through it in the most sigma manner. Take advice from my sigma mentor, Nick Eh 30. “Never back down, never what? Never give up.” Nicholas Amyoony, also known as Nick Eh 30.
